Hydromorphone and Me

I have been on Hydromorphone for pain for 8 weeks now. My cunt of a surgeon wanted me off. I was taking the pills every four hours. She wanted me to drop to every 8 hours then off. I talked to the pharmacy and they thought she was crazy. I was taking meds every 4 hours at the time. So I started reducing slowly. Then the pain hit.

Murderous pain. And burning. And spasms. And heaviness. I called the pharmacy and they told me to start going back up. I had only gotten to 1 tablet ever five and a half hours. Thats it.

The pain clinic called and made an appointment for next week Wednesday. They will help me. More on them later.

It just gets under my skin that I couldnt do it. When given a challenge I push myself to try and meet and exceed it. I failed. And that, pardon the pun, is a hard pill to swallow.

So I have had to go back up to every four hours. The worst part about this is I have to let my medical team know that this has occurred. Which means hours wasted on the phone and explaining myself hoarse about what has occurred. And getting treated like a junkie. I’m not. I’m an ex-junkie who has a lot of fother-mucking PAIN.

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